Back in the month of March, 2014, I experienced a life changing phenomenon.
I was unhappy. I was pessimistic. I was hopeless. I was exhausted. I was stressed. When I think back to those dark days, I can undoubtedly say that I was depressed. I had no hope for my future, I believed that this world was a cruel place, I believed that my life was the worst it could possibly be; I believed that my life was a living hell. My thoughts were dark, my feelings were sour, my attitude was down right disappointing, and I seemed to get worse over time.
I treated my friends and family like garbage, I had no care for success because I was used to failure, I gave up on myself, I gave up on life. I would often get into useless arguments with my parents and my siblings. I would often ignore my friends whom were only trying to help. I slowly shut everyone out whilst my negativity consumed me whole, bit by bit. Details aside, I was still getting no where and I felt myself slowly drowning, choking, being unable to breathe as time passed on.
One day, out of the blue, I was absolutely sick and tired of being upset all the time. I was tired of seeing the negative in everything. I was tired of being grumpy, rude, and depressed, I was tired of it all and I wanted to change. So you know what I did?
I prayed and prayed and prayed. I cried endlessly whilst praying, throughout all my prayers, my tears stained my face. I was so sick of being in a state of sadness that I prayed for a lighter heart, I prayed for happiness, I prayed for God Almighty to lift my burdens and draw me closer to Him. I prayed to see the light, I prayed for change, for positive change, and I kept at it.
The dead honest truth is that within 2-3 days, I felt it, I felt myself transform into someone completely different. Dare not I lie but when I finished offering my prayers, I became a true believer in God Almighty. There was no doubt in my mind that my prayers were answered, there was no doubt in my mind that it was God Himself who touched my heart and planted a seed within me that only His love and pleasure could nourish.
I remember exactly what I did in order to strengthen my bond with God Almighty. I offered my prayers on time, all of them, offered a few extra as well. I recited the Holy Book daily, often after each prayer as well. I began to read books and learn prayers that would help me seek God Almighty’s pleasure. I started to see a difference in the way I acted, thought, and spoke almost drastically. I asked for forgiveness often and I will admit that I cried tears of joy every time I thought back to how merciful God Almighty was with me.
I gained confidence in myself, I began to love who I had become, and I then realized what I wanted to gain during my time here on Earth – nothing materialistic, only His love and guidance. To this day, I still think it was an absolute miracle. I remember creating an Instagram account solely devoted to share my experiences and knowledge I acquired within that time period. I wrote poetry (maybe I will post one of my poems here one day) to share my thoughts and feelings because I was just so relieved, so content.
Anyway, my heart and mind still desires to please God Almighty, no matter how hard the journey. I have never, ever, felt so at ease with life, with myself and everything that is thrown at me, I can handle it. I fret not, I cry not, I pray and leave the rest in God Almighty’s hands. Nothing worries me, nothing stresses me, nothing saddens me, it is crazy. I have faith in God Almighty and anything that happens, I believe it is for the best and move on. I reflect often and constantly try improving myself just because that is how I want to leave the world.
Wow, this post became deeper than expected…
Overall, I am happier and just, ahh, God bless man, I am free. Free of depression, free of stress, worries, negativity, and anything else that could bring an individual down.
Just a quick message for those whom are struggling: hey, this is not the end. The worst only happens once and you should never give up on brighter days. Believe, hope, and keep your head up. I promise you that things will turn around, just stay strong. Find what makes you happy and pursue it, never let it go. It will be rough but the end results are so worth it; let not your sorrows drown you. Keep fighting kiddo.
Alright, I guess that is all from me for now. Toodle-oo!