Ramadhan Diary ~ Day One: Weaknesses

A man is weak without Divine guidance; there is no strength in his mind, body, and spirit without the help from His Lord.

—–

I promised myself to stand out from the crowd in favour of serving humanity but today, I have realized how much I need God Almighty by my side in order to do so. I made a promise and boy, was I quick to break it.

I walked by a man in the streets, who was sitting at one side playing his harmonica with a cup in front of him. I walked by thinking, “I should give him some of my money” but you know what? I just kept walking.

I. Kept. Walking. 

What a complete shame and utter disappointment. As soon as I walked by, I tried to justify why I did not stop to help the poor man. Sadly, I thought that I failed to stop in fear of missing a bus. I even started off this post by explaining how anxious I was to attend Friday prayer, how today marked the first day of Ramadhan in the UK, how I did not want to miss the opportunity to offer the first Friday prayer of this blessed month, but I cut it out. Why? Why twist the truth to make yourself look good? Anywho, that is a different story.

As I was saying, I walked by the man and felt absolutely terrible. The sad truth is that I did not even look back or slow down to walk back and hand him some money. In all honesty, I think the reason why I did not stop was because I would look odd doing so. I was thinking how bizarre it would be for a girl in a scarf to stop in the middle of the street, halting all pedestrians behind me, just to drop a few bills or coins into this man’s cup. Man, that is real sad you know. The idea of what others might think of me for slowing them down or for abruptly blocking their pathway, stopped me from doing what my heart desired.

Later on, I spent quite some time asking God Almighty for forgiveness. I kept shaking my head in disappointment knowing that I failed to be true to myself, that I failed to keep a promise, that I failed to go out of my way for the sake of another.

I reflected and kept thinking about this weakness of mine. I concluded that it was due to the lack of a powerful bond with Allah the Almighty. I am a woman who is weak without Allah the Almighty’s guidance so anything that I wish to prevail in, I must seek His pleasure and hold tight unto His rope. I am only a speck of dust, no one significant but because of my actions today, I probably could have left this man with an empty belly or in the cold without a proper set of warm clothes.

There should never come a time in a man’s life where he thinks he is able to continuously perform virtuous deeds. Man is bound to God Almighty, whether he realizes it or not, it is true. If you wish to change for the better, persevere and constantly ask God Almighty to enhance your character and pray that no worldly matter can lead you astray. Pray folks, pray.

Pray even after you give some money to a poor man.

“Hadrat Salman Farisi narrates that the Holy Prophet stated: ‘Nothing changes Divine determination except prayer and nothing prolongs age except good deeds’.” [Tirmidhi Kitabul Qadar]

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